i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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