youre lurking in front of me
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
