The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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