Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
