This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
