he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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