The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
