Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
