apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
