You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
