if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
