I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
