I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
He kissed a someone with a penis
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
