Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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