Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
