11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
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