So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
