To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
We had to coat check the pizza.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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