ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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