you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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