Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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