real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
