dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
