Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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