She's JV to your varsity
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize