Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
