margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
soo... how was my night?
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