I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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