Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It's rum buckets o'clock
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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