Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
