God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
