Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
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