why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize