I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
