Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
