So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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