dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize