So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize