could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
