i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
