he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
