You work out of a Hotel?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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