we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You're a waste of cheezeits
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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