I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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