Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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