I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I could make wine with my vomit
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
