He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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