actually, I'm a sock model
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
