is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
