I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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