Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
