I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
