ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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