she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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