I feel great
I just peed on a car
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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