He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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