oh god the rape fog is back!
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
