Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
