We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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