Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
porn star boner night. come get it.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
