I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize