And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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