I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
