If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
