Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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