I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
