turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He? As in you personified your dick?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize