Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
