when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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