He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize