I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
