any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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