I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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