it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
