i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
