BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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