Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
