If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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