Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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