if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
